I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
