im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I am mentally ready for anal.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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