I just threw up on my dentist
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize