Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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