just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
