So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize