I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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