I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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