She said her name was "party"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
