a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
foreskin is a definite game changer
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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