His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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