Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
