Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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