it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
