I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I party with great urgency now.
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