hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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