Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
