I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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