Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
