i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
