nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
