So drunk its hurt
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
