I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
