I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
