i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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