butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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