it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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