God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
