You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
