jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
