Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
