i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
