just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I am available for nakedness
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
