guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
