Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
