someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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