We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
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