so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
