dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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