when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My vagina just clenched in fear
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
