batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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