do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
