Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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