thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm sobbing to NWA
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
