i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
