i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
