bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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