Don't you send me to vm
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
