lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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