I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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