the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
