I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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