Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
