He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
