i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
