I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We just shotgunned beers for America
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I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
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It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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