That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
