Do vagina's smell?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
