i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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