I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
