"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
