Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
