I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
