Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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