I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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