ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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