oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
