I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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