toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.