Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.