I look better un-naked...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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