He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
